The Myth of Doing It All

Vince Camuto Pleated Top

I hope you had a great weekend! I was originally going to structure this as an outfit post, but decided to change it up and chat about the question I get asked most frequently: how I do I manage being a mom, working, and blogging?

To be totally honest with you I’ve hesitated to cover this because I don’t feel I do a good job balancing these three responsibilities a lot of the time, but then last week a college friend gave me an idea: why not talk about the “myth of doing it all”? She helped me see that even if I don’t consider myself an “expert” on this topic, it’s still one you are interested in reading more about (thank you Katie!).

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First off, don’t let these pretty pictures fool you! I’m incredibly thankful for my little family with Ridge and Juliana but truth be told it’s crazy, messy and hectic. I prioritize time with Juliana but I’m constantly struggling internally on whether it’s enough. When it comes to work, I often feel like I’m trying to stay on top of deadlines when I should be focusing my time on higher level strategic planning. And the blog? I feel the same way. In fact, I struggled tonight deciding whether to write this post or work on my content calendar and email back a website developer. I may or may not do these after I get this post up, but then I’ll be up way too late and struggling tomorrow. The long-short: the struggle is real ya’ll!

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I hope this doesn’t come off as complaining, because I chose this life and even though it’s hectic I wouldn’t have it any other way. I couldn’t imagine life without my sweet and hilarious Juliana (you moms know it’s a love like no other in the world), I work for a company that has flexibility and overall a great work-life balance, and Fifteen Minutes to Flawless is growing a loyal following (something I could only dare to dream of eleven months ago). Yet the reality is this all comes at a cost.

I believe you can’t have it all and you have to decide what you are going to give up. I know this may sound rough, but if you work and blog, are a mom and work, or a mom and blog, I think it’s necessary to take a hard look at activities and decide what gives. It’s been a tough lesson for me as someone who wants so badly to “do it all”,

but here’s what I bade goodbye:

  1. TV. I don’t watch TV or TV shows. Like ever. And I hate that I don’t know anything about current shows (FOMO right here!), but unfortunately the time isn’t there right now.
  2. My 5x a week workouts. This was has probably been the toughest for me. Before I started blogging I worked out four to five times a week. Now my goal is three and some weeks I only make it twice.Vince Camuto Pleated Top
  3. Perfectionism. I’m a perfectionist by nature, but I try to put the various things I do into context. Every task doesn’t need to be done “perfectly”. I’ve learned to be ok with giving 80% to less important things and 100% to what really matters. One way I’ve given up on perfectionism is around the house. If I am to be truthful, there’s usually a pile of clean laundry that needs to be put away and toys that need to be picked up. Now I block time on the weekend for cleaning and organizing but during the week- as bad as it sounds- other than keeping up with trash and dishes almost everything else is fair game.
  4. Social commitments. I have to pick and choose my social commitments and my social life. My good friends will always be a top priority, but casual Happy Hour or outings with large groups of friends/friends of friends are things I haven’t made much time for lately.Vince Camuto Pleated Top
  5. Culinary exploration. This is an area I really want to delve into when I have more time, but for now I have a handful of healthy meals Ridge and Juliana like and I know how to make quickly. And when I cook, I try to make enough for two meals so we can have leftovers. I wish I could be the Super Mom who whips up amazing meals out of nowhere and the fashion blogger that sprinkles in festive recipes, but the time just isn’t there.
  6. Down time. This might sound crazy, but down time is probably what I miss least.  I’ve always tended to keep busy and not need much down time, but these days I’m lucky if I get 30 minutes in a week…and I’m ok with that choice. The one thing I would add however is that from time to time when I start to stress out I stop and step away from everything for a little while and just take time to reflect. It really does help!
  7. Social media as a pastime. This is another tough one, but I’ve mostly given up on posting to my personal Facebook and Snapchat accounts. The social media aspect of blogging is exciting but so time intensive that I don’t have the same time as before to spend on it personally.

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I hope this helps shed more light on how I try to manage my three priorities. The concept of “what to give up” is not something I’ve seen out there much, but thinking this way has been a lifesaver for me and hopefully helps you in some way too. Also, feel free to check out this post where I share ways I’ve found to better balance motherhood and work as well as this one on balancing my different roles. I’m a work in progress but I’m learning as I go!

I hope you have a wonderful week, and always feel free to ask me any questions. It makes my day to I hear from you!

XO,

Terra

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PS If you’re wondering why Juliana is wearing slippers, she picks out all her own clothes and I think she’s digging the slipper-mule trend right now ;).

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2 Comments

  1. Katie
    July 19, 2017 / 10:15 pm

    Terra, I enjoyed reading about your personal trade offs to manage your personal, professional, and social media jobs/lives! I love your reminder that life is all about choices. Like you, I have not been able to be as close as I would like with girlfriends because I have prioritized being a mom & wife and also a manager! While I often feel guilty, I know that other friends – like you – are also going through life changes and will understand. It feels liberating to declare that I have deprioritized something, so I can prioritize something else (which happens to be most important!)

    • Terra
      July 19, 2017 / 11:36 pm

      Hi Katie, thank you for reading my post and moreover for the inspiration behind it. You are right, it does feel freeing to consciously de-prioritize something to make room for the most important priorities. So many of us gals have a tendency to try to be everything to everybody and it is so important to step back and assess where our true priorities are!